So following up on my post about paying attention to all 10 fingers, I wanted to share some practices to help broaden our attentional field to encompass all that is present. This will help increase gratitude and appreciation but also help to overcome the tendency for our negativity bias to hijack our attention and energy. 

1. Daily Gratitude – for many, myself included, this practice is actually harder than it sounds, try it! Every day, note down 3 things that you are grateful for. Challenge yourself to look for things in nature, that others do for you, that you do for yourself, the big or little pleasures and joys amid the mundane or challenging. 
2. Look around for the good – next time you’re in a situation that you aren’t very happy with, be deliberate in looking around you. A personal example – One time i was caught in a traffic jam, so I found myself stressed and irritated. I started thinking about my friends who were waiting for me, and wishing that I had known better to leave a bit earlier to miss the traffic heading into town on a Saturday evening. But then, I suddenly realised – I was in a safe and relatively pleasant environment (a car with the aircon on and nice music playing) with my partner by my side. This did not change the reality of being stuck in traffic, but it did train my mind to look at what else was around me rather than be taken hostage by stress. Fact – my Saturday evening and mood was not ruined by what I couldn’t change (time and traffic). 
3. Inventory your strengths and resources – an extension of the above exercise, if you are facing a particular challenge or stress, sit down with a piece of paper and start writing down all the strengths and resources available to you. For example if you’re facing unemployment or anxiety about Covid-19, you can consider what you have going in your life that can support you through this time, perhaps good friends, a roof over your head, a simple lifestyle… This can be a great exercise in perspective – even access to the internet, online resources and the willingness to undertake this exercise can be seen as a resource or strength!
4. Notice when it’s gone – next time you’re in a bad mood, feeling hurt or angry, or physically hurt or unwell, try noticing when it goes away. Not pushing it away or wishing for it to go, but simply noticing when it finally changes to something else. And when it does, see what that feels like to notice?
5. Back to basics – learn and get really familiar with ways to ‘break the cycle’ when you might start getting caught by your ‘one hurt finger’. Whether that might be returning to mindfulness of breathing or of your body (perhaps feeling your seat in your chair, hands on the armrest or seat, feet on the floor), or doing some mindful movement or going for a walk, or your preferred mode of self care (hand on your heart, a mindful cup of tea, some time in nature). It never hurts to find some ways to reset and restore. 

I’ll end with a personal story of how hard it was for me to learn these skills. For many years, I would get really annoyed with my partner when we left the house to head to work. She would very often be very cheerful and say “Isn’t it a beautiful day?”. In my head, I was thinking, “How can everyday be a beautiful day? And what’s so beautiful about it if we have to spend all day in the office?”. Funny thing is – I realised how much more acceptable to me to hear “oh the weather is so crap” or “I wish it wasn’t raining… so hot… so cold…”. But I could not tolerate her cheer and appreciation for when it was pleasant. My negativity bias meant that I much preferred to pay attention to and call out the negative, rather than to focus on what was going well – that the sun was out and that I had a good job to go to. 

So if you’re sceptical or feeling resistant, know that you’re not alone. But also know that the choice is yours in how you want to allocate your attention and energy – the encouragement is not to allow your magnet of your mind to automatically attach itself to what it knows best (what’s wrong) but to be able to broaden your attention to everything that is present, including what’s perfectly fine, just like a sunny morning! Remember that you have 10 fingers! 

Note: if you are facing significant challenges like grief, trauma or serious mental/physical illness, please do also consider professional support. These tactics will be supportive but best used as supplemental to the guidance that a medical or psychological professional can provide.