I fall prey to my thoughts and emotions. Maybe you’ve noticed this in yourself too. I feel discomfort in conflict with another, so I change the subject or walk away. I feel insecure so I don’t speak up and offer my opinion or idea. I feel a lack of motivation, so I don’t take the steps to take care of myself (exercise, diet, go for a walk, meditate, etc). I feel stressed, so I turn to my habitual coping mechanisms or distractions. I feel frustrated, so I raise my voice. Or on a more subtle level, I feel a bit bored, uncertain, or empty, so I reach for the phone, or for a snack.

What if I don’t have to react to my thoughts and feelings all the time? If we want to learn and change behaviours, then understanding our thoughts and emotions, and the subsequent autopilot and unconscious reactions that follow is essential.

Mindfulness helps us with our thoughts and feelings in the following way. We learn to see “Ah, stress is like this… Anger is like this… boredom feels/looks like this… I see anxious thoughts…worry thoughts…”. This is a technique known as ‘noting’ in mindfulness and meditation. Knowing how these thoughts and feelings show up and are known in the body and mind, without analysis or judgement.

Over time, learning to watch thoughts and emotions can break cycles of reactivity and habitual behaviours. Imagine you are lying on beach or patch of grass somewhere, watching the sky above you – the clouds passing across are like our thoughts and feelings, coming and going. Our job is to watch them, not changing anything, but knowing that they come in so many shapes and forms. And we learn to recognise the recurring clouds (thoughts/feelings) and related patterns of weather (other conditions or states of mind/body that might precede/accompany those thoughts and feelings), as we also learn to watch them come and go. Eventually, we grow used to them and find more space around them.