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“I noticed how I was so focused on how things should be, or how I want them to be. In my body, this showed up as sensations of being ‘stuck’ and tense. I couldn’t deal with what’s in front of me because I was caught up ‘somewhere else’ in my expectations or speculations.” Someone shared this with me recently and reminded me of the experiences of stressful friction or ineffective ‘stuck-ness’ when we resist change.
In contrast, it’s possible to notice what it’s like let go and flow with the present moment, even just a little. On a physical level, when we let go, the muscles relax, blood flows back in. On a mental level, letting go of our fixations or resistance to change means less friction, struggle and suffering. It also allows us to see new possibilities.
But to do this, we need to start now, not wait till we are challenged by big changes! Try these practices often to develop more mental and emotional flexibility around change:
1. Noticing change in your day
Choose 1 thing to notice throughout the day, particularly attending to how this changes.
For example – sound, light, weather, bodily sensations, or thoughts.
2. Let go of plans
Try a day of having no plans!
See how it feels – even imagining it now…
Does it feel exciting, scary, uncertain, impossible?
3. Feeling Time
Make it a point to notice when you feel the urge to fast-forward or rewind.
What’s that like?
(1) is practising with constancy of change all around. If we do this often, we will realise that change is constant AND it isn’t personal 🙂 We know this, but it takes a little practice to really know it.
With (2), we practice letting go of control and explore spontaneity. We see what it’s like not to fill up our time, what it’s like not to know what unfolds. This combats the rigidity of habits and creates a sense of flow, curiosity and openness.
One of our coping mechanisms when change happens is to wish for the past or fast forward to the future. So (3) helps us grow familiar with this particular pattern, so that we can stay in the present.
And last but not least, it can also help to take some time out in nature. When we stand in awe of nature’s wonders, of trees and rivers and hills, the very earth beneath us that has been around a lot longer than we have, we might remember our rightful place in the world. It’s possible that control is overrated, and flowing with change is a doorway to greater ease and alignment.
