At the end of last year, I completed a session on Stress and Resilience with a group of  leaders, during which I asked them – Why is it that zebras don’t get ulcers and we do? In case that sounds familiar, that comes straight from the title of Robert Sapolsky’s book on stress. All of us face stress in our lives and perhaps we have come here to find some help with managing stress. So how can Mindfulness help?

Stress is a fact of life, so Mindful Stress management begins with Recognition. Knowing stress for what it is – a biological response in the face of demand or challenge – helps us keep it in perspective.  The very basis of Mindfulness is pausing to check in with what’s here – by returning our attention to the body, we might begin to notice how the body feels in the face of stress – the heart rate may be increased, or you may notice tension around the jaw or shoulders, closed fists, increased speed and so on. (That might sound like the last thing we want to do – we want to get rid of stress, not dwell on it! But if that strategy hasn’t worked so far, maybe it’s time to try a different way?). As we get familiar with those signs, we can engage with them with the help of our higher cortical functions by naming those sensations and recognising them as biological responses. It can also be helpful to note “this is what stress feels like… There is stress.. “ rather than “I am stressed, I can’t deal with this stress…”  – see if that creates some calm and space in the midst of challenges.

We then learn to Reframe and cultivate a healthy attitude towards stress. Without stressors and our responses to them, we would not be able to fight off infections, or feel the anger or fear that can serve to guard us from danger, or the motivation and drive that helps us overcome obstacles or learn new skills. Finding ways of owning the stress response can enable rather than distress us. For example, a stressful work situation could be seen as detrimental to our well being, or it could be reframed as an opportunity to learn certain skills or build relationships. Research has demonstrated the benefits of such an approach in a work context.

Reframing is one of the ways in which we can focus on What we can control . Learning to use our precious mental and emotional resources towards what we can change, and diverting ourselves away from what we can’t, tips the balance towards a healthier state of mind and a greater sense of agency. And most of all, no matter what challenge we are faced with, we can always focus on our ability to care for our own mental, emotional and physical well-being. Which leads us to…

Healthy habits – now more than ever is the time for self-care, mindful engagement with technology and social media, and appropriate time management. Learning about how you respond in times of stress – is stress turning you to snacks, more time on social media and entertainment, or a compulsion towards doing more and more?  Or do you have the support of healthy habits in your stress management toolkit – for example, a fitness routine, connection with nature, time away from work or technology, social and family engagement, other hobbies or pursuits? Now is as good a time as any to take an inventory! And with this one, remember that judgement is not necessary – simply notice what your habits are and which ones support well being more than others. With kind care and a clear mind, you can gradually steer yourself towards more beneficial choices, without additional stress of judgement or guilt.

And I’d like to end with a call to Kindness– these are stressful times we live in, and Kindness is a deep commitment not to add any further to the stress. So be kind amid these times, to yourself and to all those around you. And despite all the tips and strategies listed above, it’s not likely that it’s going to remove all your stress and fix all problems. So remember to be patient and kind. We are not just giving in and giving up, but instead let go of any unnecessary resistance against how things are, so we can turn our attention towards positive actions. This is a form of Kindness that is effective, resilient and positive.

As with all Mindfulness practice, it sounds simple but is not easy. Dealing with stress and life’s challenges starts right here, with the ability to be present and pause, and to choose skilfully our response. Learning this has made a world of difference in my life and I hope it might help you too.